Classroom Management: Do you ask kids questions like these?

When teachers or parents start getting frustrated with children they often resort to asking questions to get back control of the situation.  The problem is when these questions aren’t really questions but are criticisms disguised as questions.

Questions like these don’t help with classroom management and don’t help the child correct their behavior either.

For example:

1. A pre-school teacher assisting in yoga class who pulls an overactive 3 year old out of the room, stands over her asking:  “Are you a baby? Do you want to go to the baby room?  Why are you acting like a baby?”
2. A parent overheard in the grocery store saying (loudly) to a little 3 or 4 year old girl:  “If I’m right beside you, why are you yelling?”

If these children answered it would probably go something like:

1. “I guess I am a baby because you’re talking to me like I’m a big loser and an idiot.”
2. “I’m yelling because that’s what you do when you want my attention.”

These types of questions just don’t work.  I’ve NEVER  heard a child give what I suppose is the desired answer:

1. “No I’m not a baby, so I will stop my goofing around and start acting like a three year old.”
2. “Mommy, you’ve pointed out my error so well, I better use a softer voice.”

In my experience, children never actually answer these types questions. They just stand there frozen, not sure what to do or say, feeling bad about themselves.  In terms of classroom management, it may stop the behavior for a while, but in the long term it doesn’t provide the leadership required to help children become the leaders of the future.  It lowers their self esteem by making them feel incompetent.

Instead of Questions, Be a Role Model…

A great teacher doesn’t let unwanted behavior go unnoticed either.  We don’t serve children if they can’t sit still or aren’t aware of how loud they are talking.  Instead try some other approaches.  Like:

1. the teacher assisting can calmly walk over to an overactive three year old and sit beside them and with one or two words, remind them of what everyone is doing (“cobra pose, everyone is doing cobra pose”), and modeling the behavior they want,
2. A tired mom in the grocery can drop down, look her daughter in the eye and say, “Please speak softer” in the same tone she wants her daughter to use.

Both Yoga and Classroom Management require Sadhana, a consistent practice that helps us succeed at our goal.  Sadhana is done with devotion, not with criticism or questioning.  Consistency brings us to the state we desire through practice, reflection on our actions, and observation of what we are doing and how it is working.

Teachers and parents are role models  for children in ALL we do.  These children will become the role models of the future. We need to commit to consciously creating the kind of class we want the same way a true yogi commit to their Sadhana.

This week bring awareness to your use of questions.  Are they real questions waiting for real answers or criticisms disguised as questions.  If you are not sure, what answer are you looking for when you ask?  If you want the child to answer with a specific response,  it’s probably not a real question.

If you realize it’s a criticism, and you don’t know what else to do, start by simply stating your frustration, “You’re moving around too much.”  or “You’re too loud.”   It’s an honest starting place and a move away from those other questions.

Then re-direct with a precise description of what you.   And do it like the yogis – with consistency, with love, and make it like a mantra – short, sweet, and elevating!

Please feel free to share your classroom management stories and how you re-direct children.  It will help all of us to get new ideas and tools.

Aruna Kathy Humphrys
www.YoungYogaMasters.com

P.S.  Thanks to everyone who entered the Eoin Finn DVD Giveaway for Pure and Simple Yoga.  The random winner is Betherann – who blogs over at ww.kitchencourage.com.  Congratulations.

Kids Yoga for Disabilities

First off, take a look at this fun video of two Canadians, Rick Mercer (comedian/host) and Rick Hanson (Man in Motion hero/educator) blowing away all ideas of what one can and cannot do when one has a disability:

Pretty Amazing, Eh!

This Friday marks the beginning of the Paralympic Games  in Vancouver.   It’s another event that shows how ABLE all people are.  The first Paralympics Games were held in 1976 in Sweden and this Paralympics has  five sports:

• alpine skiing
• biathlon
• cross-country skiing
• ice sledge hockey
• wheelchair curling

Here’s a link to a whole page of activities from Official Website of the Paralympic Movement. I’m looking forward to reading this worksheet in my kids classes:  A Fairytale:  A Class Discussion of Inclusion it’s a great story with discussion questions included.

I also want to try the Sitting Volleyball Skills Sheet with a soft volley ball for younger kids.

When it comes to yoga, are there any limitations that could prevent a child from joining a class?  Considering that kids yoga is already so imaginative I think kids yoga can be done by all.

The best tip for teaching yoga to someone with a disability:  talk to the person to  find out what works and what won’t work for their particular situation.  They’ll be able to tell you what they need to make it possible, what they want to try and what they can’t.  Don’t make assumptions!

If you’re stuck for ideas – a simple Google search of “wheelchair yoga” produces over 400,000 results!

Finally, this book  Susan Laughs by Jeanne Willis and Tony Ross is recommended for discussing disabilities with young kids.  It looks like a great book that I’ve just added to my wish list.  Let me know if you’ve seen this book or if you have any other ideas for including all kids in yoga classes.

Kids Meditation – 7 Year Old Yoga Sensation on Fox News

The Kundalini Kid!
Check out this News Story from Fox News:   Seven Year Old Sensation

The seven year old boy in this news story has grown up around yoga.  Obviously he’s watched many a yoga class over the years from his birth to “almost eight years old.”   But the story also reveals what yoga has done for him.  First, he’s creative enough to make up his own celestial communication meditation.  Second, he accepted the invitation to lead the meditation at Peace Prayer Day in front of thousands of people.  What confidence!  Not bad given that public speaking is one of the biggest fears of many ADULTS.

This news story fits in beautifully with the topic in my Kids Yoga Teacher Training course tonight – Teaching Yoga to kids 6 – 12 Years Old.

Seven, almost eight years old,  is a wonderful age for kids yoga!  These kids usually still like to imagine and play but they have to be encouraged not to shut this down.  They love yoga games.  And they’re NOT the age yet where they are totally absorbed in whispering to their friends throughout the class, they just do it occasionally.

The Meditations Kids Love
You may be surprised to hear that meditation with kids of this age is very popular.  When I teach kids yoga they’ll start asking, as they get tired, if it’s time for the meditation yet.  A kind of Yogic “Are we there yet?”  begins about three quarters of the way through the class.

I’ve even had kids come in and request different meditations at times when they have a big test or when their parents are having trouble getting along.

Give the Kids a Choice with Meditation
When we reach the end of the yoga set, the relaxation, I usually give kids the choice of either resting quietly or doing a meditation.  Movement meditations, known in Kundalini Yoga as Celestial Communication, are a big hit and kids can often do 6 minutes easily:

“Yogi Bhajan spoke often about the very powerful
transformation technology of Celestial Communication.
Everyone can practice this very simple meditation.
You can even make up your own Celestial Communication movements.
What is important is to choose music with uplifting words.”
3HO.org

The news story about this Kundalini Kid making up movements to Jack Johnson’s My Own Two Hands is Celestial Communication.  I encourage you to try it if you haven’t before.  Just pick a positive song and ask the kids to help you make up some movements.  You can do it sitting in easy pose or standing.  See if you can find some that you all like to do together – but it’s also fine for everyone to do their own movements.

It is a very relaxing and creative form of expression.  Plus, kids have helped me discover moves I never would have thought of on my own.

I’d love to hear your comments:  Have you ever tried Celestial Communication with your kids? What songs do you like?  What meditations do you like to do with kids?

Aruna Humphrys
www.YoungYogaMasters.com

P.S.  Please join me for my next weekend intensive Kids Yoga Teacher Training to for an intensive weekend to prepare you to bring the joy of yoga to kids.  Dates:  April 30 – May 2.  Feel free to contact me for more information.  Aruna@YoungYogaMasters.com

Yoga for Boys – Does Bribery Work or is it Silly?

Last week began another 9 week Kids Yoga Series at the community centre. One of the women in my adult yoga class had told/warned me she was going to register her son for the series. He’s a seven year old, full of energy, and terribly interested in video games, guns, and battles. In fact, she admitted to using bribery to get him to come. He doesn’t have to do homework on yoga days.

Now I know this mom is a very loving and caring person who wants the best for her son. She has discovered the joy of yoga in her own life and she was willing to resort to bribing her son to open this experience to him.

Building Up the Drama Before We Know What Will Actually Happen
By the time the first kid’s class arrived I had built up a little drama in my mind about what he would be like. It is always harder to work with someone who doesn’t want to be in class. The good news was there was one other boy registered in the class, its easier when you’re not the only one. Plus there were three other girls. All between the ages of 5 – 7 years old, with the bribed boy being the oldest.

Mustard – the Hilarious Condiment
One of the differences between adult and child yoga is rarely do adults call out funny words in the class – just because they are fun to say. Take for instance the word: Mustard. Mustard became my new friend’s word to add a bit of hilarity and funniness to the class, and he began saying it often.
As a teacher you have to recognize what is happening. Mustard may well be the pivotal condiment in this boys enjoyment of yoga – or not.

Is Mustard Allowed in Kids Yoga?
When a child starts being silly he is also finding out what is going to be allowed in class and what isn’t. He’s looking for the boundaries and he’s also finding out whether I will ask him to behave differently than how he likes to be. Do I want him to be himself or become someone else? When I hear mustard repeated over and over – I have to make a choice to accept his offer for silliness or reject it.

By rejecting the offer and insisting he stop, the class will be much like an adult yoga class. If I tell him to stop saying mustard (after all – saying mustard is not hurting anyone, in fact all the other kids found it hilarious) I tell him to stop being the kid he is. If he was doing something dangerous or mean – that would be the time to re-direct – but this kid was actually very sweet, sweet and silly!

What Happens if You Out-Silly the Silly
As a kids yoga teacher I have made it a goal to, at times, out-silly the silly. Become like a child and the kids will be amazed! Besides, I like being silly. There were many years when I lost the ability to be silly, let’s call it silly-ability, and I’m happy to have found it again. I think silly leads to creative and unusual thinking. Some of the world’s greatest inventions were probably considered silly by many people.

I Accept Silly Offers
When my new student said “mustard” and everyone laughed I accepted the offer. I said, “Oh Yummy, I love Mustard!” and I asked everyone if they wanted me to squirt some mustard on them (with my imaginary mustard bottle) when they did their yoga pose.

Then I offered them relish, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles for the next poses. Each child accepted my offer, holding the yoga poses for a minute or more just to get an extra topping. What’s life without imagination?

To finish the class we did bundle rolls down a row of mats (rolling on the floor like you would roll down a grassy hill). The kids love this pose and wanted to keep doing it – so we went on for about six minutes of bundle rolls till the kids rolled to a stop – happy and exhausted. If the kids really want to keep going in a pose then I let them whenever possible.

Week 2: Mustard Brought Relish and Ketchup
This week was our second class and I couldn’t believe my eyes when the boy who had to be bribed to come to yoga brought two of his friends to join the class. The three of them joined in and had a great time. Eventually we will move towards the boys meditating in this picture:

Somehow, this week the silliness had worn off the word mustard – it was only mentioned once! Now, I’m not going to say whether bribery is good or not. But I do wonder if now that his friends are coming, will this boy will have to do his homework again?

Tell me, what kind of silly stuff do you like to do?

Aruna Humphrys
www.YoungYogaMasters.com


P.S. Hockey Silly Scores Goals: I can’t resist passing on this 30 second video from a professional hockey game a couple days ago. Another incentive why kids should keep their silliness – have you ever seen a goal scored this way?!

Listening Builds Trust and Connection

To digress from my latest subject on teaching large classes (I will get back to it), did anyone see Obama’s speech to Congress? I have to admit, I’m hooked on Obama! I love to watch him as a public speaker, see how he moves, what words he uses to create a picture, and also how much he pauses in his speeches to let those words sink in.

As a kids’ teacher, Obama is worth learning from. When he addressed congress I was captivated. But when he talked about the grade eight girl who had written to him asking him to help fix her school – well, I was truly moved.

Yoga Props that Get Attention

Stroke of Genius: A Meditation

• I love you
• You are beautiful
• You are so much fun to be with
• Your smile is remarkable
• list your child’s endearing characteristics to make it as personal as possible – but keep them positive and in the moment

Then as you proceed you can say your favorite mantra, quote, or piece of wisdom aloud. You can say them to your child, say them together or say them “call and answer” style (one says it and the other repeats). Decide which ones to say or who goes first. Some of my favorites are from my Teacher:

• Your attitude of gratitude determines your altitude (could be 2 strokes for the longer sayings)
• Follow your bliss
• Listen to your heart.

Have fun with your child, count even little strokes of the brush. Ask your child to try this special meditation with you one time to see if they like it. My niece, who hated to brush her hair, actually sat totally still while I stroked her hair giving her one compliment after another. The next day she came to me with the hair bush to do it again.

Not only will this meditation help you get ready, it adds significance to the time we take to care for ourselves and let ourselves shine. Every child needs to learn the importance of personal grooming to reflect their inner confidence and feeling of divinity, known as Raja (royal) yoga. This sweet meditation is adding a stroke of genius to your child’s routine.

Aruna Humphrys
www.YoungYogaMasters.com

For more information on Kid’s Yoga training visit my website: www.YoungYogaMasters.com

The Truth About Offering Choices to Kids

Are You Building Kids Strengths with Choices?
Here you are, teaching a class of children or perhaps with your own kids and you have a great idea. One of the kids is tired and refuses to do it. What do you do?

Offering choices is one of the first things you learn about when working with children. In fact when we don’t offer choices it can quickly turn into the dreaded power struggle. If you’re wondering what this is, it sounds something like this: One person says “yes” and one person says “No,” then keep repeating until someone gives in.

Power Struggles and Character Building
No one likes to be bossed around and told what to do all the time. This may lead to low self esteem and a tendency to follow others. A child may feel they should do what other people want. On the other hand, if a person always has to have their way they may become a bit of a bully or a manipulator so they can get what they want.

This is where offering choices comes in. I’ve found offering choices regularly in class actually helps to avoid power struggles altogether. If you ever feel you are moving towards a power struggle, this is where all your meditation and personal practice come in. So you can remember that your role is to guide the child to build their character not turn them into puppets, doing whatever you tell them to do.

How Offering Choices Builds Character
When you offer choices it helps to avoid power struggles but it also helps to build character. When you offer choices you are saying to the child “You can make good decisions.” When you boss them around you are saying, “You don’t know – I’ll decide for you.”

As my teacher, Tulshi Sen says, when a child has the confidence to make decisions for themselves and feels they know what is right and wrong – they are a confident child.

So next time you offer choices be sure to offer them a chance to make a real decision. Don’t offer a choice that is really saying “Do what I want. Do you want to do it this way or that way?” It may work for now but will it build character?

One choice I offer a few times in every yoga class is, “Do you want to do another pose or do you want to rest?” When they can decide which one is right for them they really do know themselves and this builds confidence.

Listening to Their Choice builds Relationships
Listening to their answers helps us have a smooth class. When the kids want to rest we take a break while they get refreshed for the next pose. When they want to keep going it helps channel their energy. And when it is a mixed response, some rest while the other kids demonstrate the next pose.

It is a great way to help kids know themselves which builds their self-confidence. It builds trust in the relationship as well, that lets children tell you what they need, knowing you will listen to them. It helps build their communication too, so that if you forget to offer the choice instead of them just saying “NO,” they will offer a choice back to you.

Then you know they have built character to express themselves and you have a lot more fun together too!

© K. Humphrys

Standing in the Hallway

Why We Meditate
My favorite moments working with children come when students tell me the different ways they have used what they learn in class.

One day a seven year old girl told me how she got in trouble at school for talking too much in class. Her teacher, probably frustrated, sent the girl out into the hallway to compose herself. She was allowed to come back in when she was ready to listen and participate.